It is the three o'clock hour here in San Diego. It's sunny and warm outside. I just fed The Boy and it is officially his fussy hour. I'm thankful for the predictability of his fussy hour, every day at about three. I can stop trying to calm him and nearly losing my mind in the attempt, and just put him on his donut and close the second bedroom door, and let him cry.
Burn some baby energy, as it were. See, fussy hours are a good thing. When Henry first came home, I literally began crying when his cry would become "too sad." If actual tears were involved for him, so they were with me. I have since learned that if I quell his distress and keep him from crying, he won't sleep at night, which only results in more tears from me.
So he cries, and I sit in my heavenly new glider. Actually, right this second he's quiet (he probably tuckered out and cried himself to sleep, which breaks my heart almost as much as crying it out). It's still super hard for me to let him cry. Sometimes I give in after about ten minutes, or however long it takes for the cries to turn to wails, but I try to let him cry hard for at least a little bit. So far we've had success with this "routine." H gives us a couple four-hour stretches of sleep at night, and one two- or three-hour ones. Which is awesome.
"How do you feel today?" I asked Conrad this morning after quite the awesome night of sleep, probably the best since H was born.
"A little groggy," he said. "Like I got too much sleep."
Too much sleep. With a not-quite-three-week-old baby. How about that?
UPDATE: Some of you seemed concerned with me allowing Henry to cry. Read my response here.
My second wouldn't sleep train until he was almost 6 months, and after he did I felt groggy for a week! I was used to three or maybe four hours of sleep at a time.
ReplyDeleteThis is cause for concern because your baby cannot self soothe before he is 3 months old nor can you sleep train him before 2-3 months. Right now he's building his trust with you. And when you let a 3 week old baby cry alone in a room that isn't teaching him anything. You may not be able to get him to 'stop' crying at 3 pm, but you being there with him and holding him shows him that when he cries (which is his only form of communication) you are there no matter what. He is crying for a reason and always needs his mom especially this early in his life. He hasn't been in a human body for long and he's learning how to work it. I wouldn't normally say anything but this post genuinely made me sad for him. He has no idea why you're leaving him completely alone in a room.
ReplyDeleteI would argue that if he can't self-soothe he can't comprehend he is alone in a room and certainly wouldn't be able to build or lost trust from it.
DeleteThose first couple of months can be so rough- I read The Happiest Baby on the Block and found great success with the soothing techniques. Especially in those afternoon "witching hours" when babies are more prone to fussiness. Otto was happier and I was happier. Just a suggestion. I would loan you my copy but it's already on loan to another friend.
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ReplyDeleteI just stumbled across your blog. I don't think that leaving a baby that isn't even three weeks old is a good idea. Babies this young cry because it is a reflex. When a baby this young is crying, it is because he needs something. If you are ignoring him, he may become withdrawn and think that he can't communicate with you. Once a child is about three months old, you can begin letting them cry it out.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should do a little more research on this topic and decide if you really think you're doing what's best for your son.