This question has been heavy on my heart as we get closer and closer to having a newborn in the house. I did some thinking about it this morning while our house was quiet and still kind of dark.
Am I enough? What if I become depressed and shirk all my wifely and motherly duties?
What if I truly hate motherhood? What if my personality clashes with my son's? What if my hormones go wacky and I clash with my beloved husband?
Am I good enough for him, my baby? Am I good enough for him, my husband?
What if I'm unable to care properly for this precious baby? What if I'm unable to make our home a happy place, filled with love?
I desperately want to love motherhood. I want to love the toys everywhere, the smashed crackers in the carpet, the waking up to tenderly care for my baby, my changing body, the new routine...
But I get stressed about messes like toys everywhere and crackers in the carpet. I get really really frustrated when babies won't stop crying. I'm terrified of all the new bodily things I'll have to deal with.
So I prayed. I asked that Heavenly Father bless me with patience and organization and deep love. And the smallest, smallest thought came to me: You are enough.
We're being sent this baby to take care of and love. We are being trusted to raise this little spirit. If I don't quite have what it takes, I'll learn. We'll all learn.
I am enough for Him. He will teach me. He will send me love as I need it.
That's right, we'll all learn! That's the point, right?
ReplyDeleteWe all learn, especially with the grace of God to help us through! How ironic you heard that thought, "I am enough" from God. A few weeks ago I stood in the bathroom, feeling frumpy, nothing fitting, skin breaking out from pregnancy hormones...and I heard that in my head/ heart too, "You are good enough for me"...I have felt better since. It's amazing what the Lord gives. He will make you the perfect mother if you turn to Him for strength.
ReplyDeleteYou are most definitely enough mama! There will be incredibly challenging times, when you have a moment of wishing you hadn't embarked on the journey of parenthood. BUT, all those moments will be mere shadows in the awesome light of all the amazing moments parenthood bring. And you are so right about learning. God seems to equip us with what we need when it feels like we have no idea what we're doing :) You are going to be (and already are!) one AMAZING mama! Baby Frame is one lucky little guy ;)
ReplyDeleteThis post brought me so much peace. Thanks for learning from God and sharing that journey with us.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post! I think this is something all mothers face at some point or another! you are going to be a wonderful mama! It's not always easy but it is a wonderful journey <3 my kids are 2.5 and 8 months and we still have ups and downs but in all we have a great time and share lots of love!
ReplyDeleteI used to stress myself out trying to be the "perfect" mom, but lately I've been learning to have peace in just loving my kids and pointing them to Jesus while be the best mama that i can. Sometimes the house is messier than I'd like it to be, but I try to focus on the things that really matter, like showing my family love and caring for their needs more than obsessing over being the "perfect" mom and wife in every area at the same time. It's a learning process ;)
I write a lot about encouragement for moms of little ones, I hope you stop by sometime and are encouraged by something you read <3
beautythroughimperfection.com
Touched. Thanks for sharing.
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