The Pregnancy Story: Part 4

*This post was written on December 10, 2012.

I woke up this morning and couldn't wait. I wanted to take a pregnancy test so bad. I told myself I would wait until Wednesday, because if I was pregnant, it would officially show up. But I was itching inside and I couldn't wait anymore.

I used a First Response pregnancy test around 8:00 in the morning, and after about 30 seconds, that second little pink line showed up, confirming my pregnancy. I didn't feel the way I thought I'd feel. I looked down at those two lines and just thought, "Whelp, there it is." No real excitement, no intense emotion of any kind. I think I already knew, and that test just solidified it.

I decided I should tell Conrad immediately (partly because I wanted him to know, partly because I knew I would spill the beans to someone else if it wasn't him). I washed the little stick off, stuck it in a gift bag, and got in the car. I met Conrad outside of his office and was so excited to give him the bag that I almost didn't hug him. He opened the bag and I snapped some pictures of his face as he registered the fact that he was going to be a dad. (The pictures are low-quality because of my camera phone).

He looks pretty grossed out, for some reason. 

Then he realizes...

He looks again...

He gets excited...

And he triple checks.

And he laughs...

And laughs...

And laughs and cries at the same time...

Later in the day, like a couple hours later, I took a second test of a different brand, and it was negative. I looked online for this sort of situation, and a lot of people said that's normal. I guess you're supposed to take the test first thing in the morning, with your "first urine." When you're really newly pregnant (like me), your hormones can fluctuate just enough to cause a later test to be negative. These hormones being more concentrated in the morning have a lot to do with women feeling sick in the morning. 

I'm only 12 days pregnant, so it's too early to tell anyone, since it's such a high risk at this point. It hasn't really sunk in. I obviously don't feel any different, and I've known for about 12 hours. I'm filled with questions. How big is it? Am I going to get an epidural? Will I use midwives? What if there's more than one little gummy bear in there? What will we name it? Should I start getting a nursery ready? When should we announce it? When do I find out the sex? Do I even want to find out the sex? 

Here's what is amazing to me: Almost every woman ever, in human history, has gone through what I'm about to go through. And even after billions and billions of pregnancies and births, it never stops being a miracle. No one ever stops being excited.