Terrible Life COACH

I just want everyone to know in advance before reading this blog, I'm not a verbally abusive wife to my husband. I have his permission, even suggestion, to write about the following topic. He is a good sport and sees the comedy in what I'm about to divulge.

The other day was one of those "no-way-am-i-going-to-set-foot-in-the-kitchen" days. We decided to use a Ruby's gift card we were given for Christmas. While we were looking up directions to Ruby's, we saw that it was really close to PF Changs. We decided to go there instead.

You must understand how rare it is that we should go out to dinner without Conrad protesting for financial reasons. So this was a huge treat. We ate some great food and some OK food, then went to walk around at the outlet mall just outside.

My wallet is currently broken, so I wanted to keep my eye out for a shnazzy new thing. Several stores and no luck later, we casually entered the Coach store (remember, this is an outlet, where all items are discounted). I browsed for a while, saw some cute things, but only considered the items that were on clearance. Conrad, meanwhile, was growing increasingly upset. Every price tag he looked at confirmed his hatred of high-priced, brand-name items. "How could a person spend $300 on a purse?!" he ranted.

I'll remind you again that whatever price he saw was not the original price.

"Dear, people spend thousands on purses," I replied. $100 for a quality wallet is on the steep side, but I'll pay it if I absolutely must have the thing. He was outraged and insisted that we leave immediately. Just as I was walking out the door, I saw the one. But because my husband was throwing a huge public fit, I couldn't look at it more closely. He said within earshot of the closest associate "Coach should die."

I am now determined to spend a minimum of $1000 on a wallet, just to spite my husband. Anyone have a blingy leather wallet they want to sell me? I'll double your asking price.