Sometimes I'm selfish and switch pillows with Conrad when he's not looking because he always gets the good one.
Sometimes I tell him I didn't spend any money that day, even if I did. Then I feel guilty and spill my guts.
Sometimes (actually, every night) I hog the covers. And the mattress. And the pillows. He never says a thing about it.
Sometimes when I'm mad, I threaten pregnancy.
Sometimes I dream about running away and going on a vacation by myself, then realize how boring it would be without my love.
Sometimes my mom butts in and tries to give me marital advice. Then I kill her.
Sometimes I do stupid things to get Conrad's attention. When he's gone a lot, I tend to pick fights, get overly emotional, or make a mess, just so he'll pay attention to me more. [as if he completely ignores me]
Sometimes I think I'm the only woman on earth who ever questions her choices, or fights with her husband.
I love surprising him with a clean house at the end of the day.
Sometimes, I get a sexy-little-something for myself, and say it was a present for him, even though it really was mostly for myself.
Sometimes I feel like nothing is mine, and like I should keep a secret from him, but I know that would distance us and cause a problem.
When Conrad says "don't get me anything," I hear "get me tons of awesome stuff I don't need and didn't ask for." Then I get mad when he doesn't JUMP for freaking JOY.
Sometimes I'm an outrageous wife and get offended when he suggests "lets work out," when I know he only wants to go have fun together on a bike ride.
He's so good though! Why am I ever mean to my husband? He massages my legs when I get shin splints. He hugs me when I'm throwing a tantrum (I am only 20, after all). He says I'm pretty when I [and every one else] know[s] I look haggard. He never makes me do dishes. Am I the only one who thinks this way?
Marriage is scary and challenging. As a newlywed you think, will he REALLY always love me?... Even though I spent more money than we have, or act like a 5 year old sometimes, or hate visiting his parents, or threaten pregnancy? I definitely had those thoughts or momentary doubts of getting married so young, if it was the right decision, but trust me, it was. And it is for you. It is perfect, your perfect experience, and Conrad's too. No one can teach you and grow with you as much as your spouse, and no one on this earth loves you as much as he does either. Life is crazy, and sometimes we feel crazy and like we're the only ones feeling a certain way, but I assure you, you are far from the only on who has had these thoughts and feelings. It's natural. All of it aside, anyone can tell how madly in love you two are, and it's beautiful. Marriage is the greatest.
ReplyDeletehahahha you threaten pregnancy. hahaha!! i love this. homegirl i feel ya. but i have never threatened pregnancy. thats so awesome.
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