Conrad-isms and the Awkward Poke

So, I live with this guy. We're married and all, which means he gets to call me whatever absurd [non-offensive] name he wants, and I have to answer.

It started simple. Babe. Dear. Baby. and such.

He got more creative. Sweet, Sweetness, Sweet Bottom (that one's actually one I use more).

The longer we're together, the weirder the names get. I learned this while we were engaged. He started calling me "Sauce" and "Sauce-Bucket."

The most recent collection: Variations of Goose [Goose, Baby Goose, Goosling, Goosy], and Goat (no variations, just goat, really, and baby goat). Also Boo.

Don't be confused. The old names don't go away. The list just gets longer. I have probably 100 names that I answer to.

He never really gets frustrated, so he doesn't have anger expressions, but he does giggle at certain words. "Vessel" is one that really gets him going.

He pokes me if he hears something funny, and I laugh, not because I find it funny too, but because I think he's outrageous.

Something we share fondly is "The Awkward Poke" (not to be confused with a normal poke), started by me and Lacee. Occasionally (actually, very regularly), someone will say something that is less than socially appropriate. When this occurs, so does the POKE.

For example: The librarian at my church is one sweet, yet completely insane lady. At a dinner party, she burped and farted at her own will, then continued to tell how her sister had committed suicide 45 years ago. Can someone explain to me how this story is relevant at a Christmas party? This one gets a poke.

Another example: this same lady stood up in the front row one Sunday in the middle of the Relief Society lesson, and shared how 30 years ago, her husband was excommunicated and they've been married ever since. Awkward punch me please.

Another example: in a public setting, when someone tells a joke that falls flat, please poke someone.

I would love to hear poke-worthy stories and funny nicknames. Please share.